she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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