this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
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I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
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Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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