It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize