I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
foreskin is a definite game changer
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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