It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize