Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
