she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
23 People Confess The Trashiest Thing They’ve Seen In Person
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
19 Transgender People Reveal The First Sign That They Were Trans
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.