if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
10+ Incredible Tumblr Stories That Will Leave You Shook
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
16 People Who Have Raised The Bar For Petty Revenge
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.