So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
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Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
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Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.