if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
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