remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Randomize