I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We're facebook friends in real life
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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