i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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