How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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