I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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