We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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