when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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