Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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