I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
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Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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