there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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