My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Randomize
