so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
