And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
