I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
