i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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