Need sex. Gaining weight.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Randomize