I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
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