Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
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