you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
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