Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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