I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
