I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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