so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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