I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
They took my balls.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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