i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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