so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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