do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
