She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
Randomize
