i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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