You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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