Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
false alarm, still single
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
