We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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