Fine. I'll sleep in my office
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize