don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Randomize
