Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We need to rekindle our bromance
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
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