I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
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