oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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