You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
