I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
