would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
