that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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