I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
