Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
I got her a Nickelback box set.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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