And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
