I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
