No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I need moral support for this bender
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
