so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
And the cops told us we were all naked.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Randomize
